Personal development is a great process and sometimes you don’t get the progress that you’d expect because of some barriers that are inside you, even though you can’t really acknowledge them.
Whether it’s your negativity or lack of determination, there are many things that may stay in the way of your success.
Scroll down to see what may be blocking you at the moment and some tips on how you may overcome them, in order to become a better person.
The sooner you identify your personal barriers and you get aware of them, the easier it’s going to be to fight them and to get the improvements you were always expecting.
1. You don’t really know your status
It’s not enough to know where you’re heading to and it’s also essential to get a real picture about yourself. It’s difficult to find the direction to your goal if you don’t really know where you are in a relationship, for instance.
You’re going to find yourself adrift in the ocean, let’s say, moving a lot, but with minimal results.
It’s never too late to take a good look at your life at the moment so that you may get a real sense of you and your life.
Take inventory of your life so you do have a clear image of you and your life.
2. Your goals aren’t defined
An important part of accomplishing success is establishing goals so that you know where you’re after in life, sort to speak. This doesn’t mean that everyone knows what they want and let’s not forget about the factors that block people from clearing their goals.
You need to focus constantly on what you want in order to create, to attract the situations for your goals to accomplish. When you’re creating an unfocused outcome, you may get some of the things you want, but only by luck. Your control over the experience is going to be minor, as well.
Our mind becomes a true goal-seeking mechanism that creates and imagines the experiences we need so that our goals do become real. Knowing exactly what you want is essential for that, though.
3. You live thinking that you’re your Ego
Identifying yourself with your own thoughts, feelings, your body or all the other things relating to you is a rooky mistake. You do have your thoughts, but that’s not you. You do have your feelings, but you’re not only your feelings either. You need to become aware that even if you have all of these feelings/thoughts, you’re not them. Coming to this realization is also a big step into your development and some may never come to it. They remain trapped, becoming prisoners of their emotions, body and mind. You’re not your ego and this barrier alone may keep you down from growing as a person.
What you can do? You may try some meditation, even if it’s your first and a bit challenging. You could sit quietly for a couple of minutes while clearing your mind of all your thoughts. You’re going to do it once again, but this time taking a look at your thoughts, sort to speak, but without judging them.
Chances are that you’re going to find some gaps between your thoughts. It may take you even 6 months until you see the gaps, but the efforts are worth it. You’re going to get closer to your real self so try meditate as much as you can.
4. You’re focusing on what you don’t want
Most of us experienced an emotional trauma (thinking that some didn’t is simply out of this world), which is why we’re going to try our best NOT to experience that trauma once again. Unfortunately for us, the mind focuses and is able to attract or to create opportunities for them to happen. The stronger the emotion behind our focus, the faster we can expect the results/ the opportunities. Is it clear now why we should focus on what we want and not on what you’re trying to avoid?
Focusing may be entirely unconsciously for some and they don’t even realize they’re doing it. If you can’t tell if you’re focusing on what you don’t want, there’s a simple trick you may try. “How do you feel?” is the question you need to ask. If you’re feeling all bad, it’s clear that you’re focusing on what you don’t want. Give it a try and think of something that’s not nice for you. You’re going to observe how your mood turns all blue.
The reality is this: every time you’re feeling bad, you’re in fact focusing on what you don’t want, even if you don’t fully realize that specific thought.
The solution is easy: pull your focus back to what you want instead and see how you start to feel better. The more you practice, the sooner you’re going to get more power over your emotions. So, whenever you’re feeling bad, you need to refocus and think about what you want instead.
5. You limit your beliefs
Even if you’re not all that into personal development, you may have heard by now about how your limiting beliefs may put you down. As a matter of fact, the reality of limiting beliefs is very popular out there and how to overcome this barrier is a bit less obvious.
All our beliefs are controlled in fact by our values. The best thing to do is to write down the things you treasure in life. The list may include anything, from activities and relationships to various things and feelings. You should write down around 10 things on the list. The exercise doesn’t stop here and you should also put them in order of most to least important. You now have your values list.
Think of it like this: the values are your hooks and the beliefs hang off them. Making all clear to you about your values helps you see better your beliefs too.
We may have thousands of beliefs, but we only have 10-12 top values. Take note of your values in order to make it all clear about your beliefs as well. Go on the quest of defining your values so that you have a better image of your beliefs too.
6. You resist changing
The first thing to do in order to enjoy life is to give up resistance. It’s not much about learning how to do it, but it’s more about “unlearning” the resistance. You may feel like surrender, but this doesn’t mean you’re giving up. Accepting your reality is part of the progress.
It was Eckhart Tolle that depicted a situation of surrender to the Now while becoming a part of the fluid life. He told us about someone getting all stuck in the mud. Struggling in the mud is going to make you lose energy on the emotional and physical suffering. You may as well surrender to the Now: simply accepting that you’re waist-deep stuck in the mud. You can’t really change the reality that you’re stuck but you may very well find a solution! So, finding the way out is what you should focus on and take a look around. You may find a branch to haul yourself out.
So it’s best to surrender and to accept your current situation. Do your best to change the situation, if that’s what you want. Even though it may look simple, it may be the best solution for a time. You’re going to be open to new opportunities that you didn’t notice before, get through new experiences and try the things you thought to be impossible. Not only you’re going to have more fun, but you’re also going to achieve many things, with less effort.
Acceptance is essential for becoming a better person. Always.
7. You relegate your personal responsibility
If it’s still unclear by now what you’re 100% responsible for, it may be that you’ve already reduced your power over to something else. Blaming someone for such a situation is the easiest thing to do, but blame doesn’t take you far. On the contrary, it takes you even deeper, keeping you away from personal growth.
Outside situations don’t relate to what you feel, whether it’s about you being late for a meeting or if you’re successful at a job or not.
It’s the internal thoughts that you have about a specific situation that has a say on how your life turns out to be. So, the main idea is that you’re 100% responsible for your life. Blame isn’t going to do you any good and it’s only up to you to live the life you want.
This may be one of the most powerful barriers for personal development and many of us get through life thinking that don’t have control. We don’t have complete control, though, but we do have 100% control over our minds. Our mind is the one counting for our reality and life. So, why not getting in control over it?
Our thoughts give us feels and have a say on how our body works and everything is related to it. Our mind tells us how we see the world and it’s up to us to change the view and, therefore, the world we live in.
Most of the time, we’re not aware of that so get in charge and be in control of your own life.